mark sucessful person sample answer

The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career.

The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career. 

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Band 7 Sample

Some people believe that being wealthy and having a successful career is the mark of a successful person. I tend to strongly disagree with this idea.

Having extensive monetary means certainly allows for a luxurious life , and accumulating professional achievements definitely provides a social status that is rarely obtained otherwise. Most would argue that luxury and social status are what everyone dreams of, and that they are crucial to being able to live a fulfilling life. For this reason, we can testify everyday how many people are willing to walk the extra mile to become successful, famous and respected. As a result, numerous people focus their day-to-day on achieving these, and leave other aspects of their life aside.

I, however, am of the opinion that money and professional success don’t make someone successful in life. Examples of people that were wealthy and well regarded in their fields but decided to end their lives after struggling with depression or personal problems are not uncommon. There’s many more relevant aspects that form a person and that are essential to really being successful as an individual and as a part of society. In that sense, the positive impact that someone has in other people’s lives, such as family and friends, and the consequences that this influence creates, are what can decidedly make a person successful at being human, which is the true measure of success.

In conclusion, although wealth and a successful career can be mostly beneficial to what a person can have access to in life, they’re not the mark of success. On the other hand, having a positive influence on others and being able to leave a profound mark is.

Notas por Critérios de Avaliação

Coherence and Cohesion 9

Lexical Resource 5

Grammatical Range 5

Task Achievement 9


Um ponto que ajudaria o candidato a melhor seu Lexical Approach (Critério relacionado ao Vocabulário) e Coherence and Cohesion seria evitar palavras básicas como people, life e person que faz com que o seu Lexical caia e você soa repetitivo.

A palavra People pode ser substituída por palavras como

  • Individuals
  • Citizens
  • Human beings
  • The general public

A palavra Life pode ser substituída por palavras mesmo