Task 1 Band 7/7.5 Sample
Your company recently used a hotel for an important meeting. There was a problem with the facilities in the meeting room.
Write to the hotel. In your letter:
- Give details of the meeting – annual managers meeting
- Describe the problem with the meeting room facilities – not enough room
- Say what you want the manager to do – give a discount for the next meeting
Dear Mr. X,
I am writing this letter due to an undesirable situation that we experienced last week in your premises. As you may have been informed of, we had booked a room in your hotel to hold the annual managers meeting of our company.
I am afraid I have to say that the space we were given to sustain this event was not of the expected size. We had clearly requested that we required sufficient room to comfortably accommodate 20 executives, while the meeting room we were given had a capacity of a maximum of 15 people.
For the reason stated above, I kindly suggest that we be given a reasonable discount applicable to our next meeting, to be held on November 30th. I sincerely hope that you concede us that benefit, so that we can maintain the fruitful relationship we have had for so many years.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
That = here the candidate should have used which instead. So an undesirable situation which we experienced…. would be the proper answer.
In = here the candidate should have used on instead. So last week on your premises…would be the proper answer.
Clearly = here the candidate used unnecessary language. Keep in mind sometimes more is less.
Concede = here the candidate missed the preposition to after concede.
Benefit, so that = here the candidate shouldn’t have put a comma before the dependent clause so that.
There is no doubt, this letter was well written. However, the candidate made some minor English errors regarding prepositions, punctuation, and grammar. Also, a clear statement of purpose is missing throughout the letter.
This letter would be marked between a 7 to 7.5 on the test
The candidate nearly covered all the items except the purpose statement, which would have resulted in a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
An excellent job was done here, although some linking words could have been included.
Overall, we can see a good mix of vocabulary being used. The only issue was with the unnecessary language used at times.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The candidate made some mistakes in terms of prepositions, use of relative pronouns, and punctuation which affected his score.
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